Slim Phil and other strangers in my phone


On average, three people call me each week.

Sure, I get texts from girlfriends to go on lunch walks and messages from Comcast reminding me that my bill is ready for payment.  But, as far as good ol’ fashioned phone calls are concerned, my phone typically only rings if my husband, my sister, or my mother is on the line.

That’s why I’m amused to have so many phone numbers in my phone. Considering that it takes effort to enter ten digits into my flip phone, I must have cared about every one of my contacts long enough to devote time to their information.  Yet, I have many people in my phone whom I don’t even know. For example, Slim Phil?  Who the heck is Slim Phil?  (I have a feeling I didn’t meet him at a work conference.) John at Chappy’s?  Chappy’s is a bar, but God only knows if John was a bartender or a barfly.  Gumbo?  Sounds like a character in an upcoming True Detective episode. And my favorite… Bottom Feeders. Bottom Feeders?

Then, there are the numbers that make me smile. Dave’s Island Taxi was clearly entered on a night I was planning on having a lot of fun. Frank’s Pizza is my emergency contact for Italian subs when I’m hungry in New Jersey.  And Matt Damon is a fake contact which only exists to make people wonder…

Yep, I don’t bother to clean out these numbers, since they provide entertainment and whimsy. Sure, I don’t remember who “Cricket” is, but it’s fun to wonder who I would have met with a 641 area code (Iowa, apparently.) And, what if someday a guy named Bottom Feeders becomes the next American Idol?  I’d have direct access to backstage tickets from his ol’ pal Becky.

Yet, out of all of the names and numbers in my phone, my favorite contact is “Nobody Relevant.” I don’t recognize the phone number for Nobody Relevant, but apparently it was someone I wanted to forget.  He/She probably had a real name many moons ago, but for whatever reason, I assume I decided to rename the contact.  Why I wouldn’t just delete Nobody Relevant, I’ll never know.  But for now, Nobody Relevant is in my phone, just waiting for the phone to ring.


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